I know ALL too well that dating can be difficult…but it doesn’t have to be.
Enter To WIN A Pair Of Tickets To 17th Annual The Everything To Do With Sex Show In Toronto
Are you looking for something fun, flirty, and sexy to do this weekend?
The Everything To Do With Sex Show is coming back to Toronto for its 17th year and I’m giving away a pair of tickets!
Why should you attend The Everything To Do With Sex Show, you ask?
After a break-up, nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.
I’m the type of person who goes all-in. I give my all, my whole heart – loving unconditionally and fully. Jumping in without worry of consequences. Then, when things don’t work out as I had hoped – I’m left questioning myself, my worth – wondering what it was that I could have done differently. What is it that either of us could have done differently? But, it’s just not that simple. It’s never just that one thing that could have changed.
Sometimes, no matter how badly you want something to work out – it just isn’t right.
Life happens. Things happen – and you may not ever know exactly where things went wrong – but the fact of the matter is that they did, and you have to move on.
So then what do you do? I mean, besides spend a weekend surrounded by friends and family, and lots of wine – of course.
So often, single friends and acquaintances have come to me and asked me,
“Why can’t I find someone?!” or, “Why am I still single?!”
My first piece of advice is to cut out those “sort-of” relationships in your life.
By allowing those “sort-of” relationships to hold a place in your mind and in your heart – you are blocking out a space that could be otherwise occupied by something more worthwhile, more deserving.
It can be scary being utterly and completely alone. Trust me, I know this.
So you hold onto those “sort-of” relationships, thinking it’s better than nothing.
But believe me – it’s not.
Let go of the past, the what-if’s, and the sort-of‘s which are all poor excuses for relationships – and make room in your heart for the real deal…then you’ll be truly ready and it’ll come.
UPDATE: I’m back on the market. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past month or so, you’ll know that your girl JennJenn over here is officially off the market. Yup, that’s right – I’m a spoken for gal now.
That being said – I know that over the past year you guys have thoroughly enjoyed reading about my torturous first dates, but don’t fret – I think I’ve found a great solution. I’m going to share with you some tips that I’ve learned from a year of first (and second, third, and sometimes even more) dates.
Dating doesn’t have to be difficult.
You’ve already laughed at my suffering, why not learn some tips from it too? LOL
1. Math is hard, but chemistry is even harder.
Chemistry is one of those things you either have, or you don’t. While you’re swiping left and right on your preferred online dating app, you may come across a picture or profile that catches your eye. You may even exchange some witty banter and clever conversation back and forth – but if and when you meet, and that chemistry isn’t there, know that it’s is something you can’t force or manipulate. Sure, it may not happen right off the bat on the first date (nerves and all) – but, know when to hold them and know when to chuck them the deuces. There is no point in wasting your time on something that just isn’t right.
2. It’s not always indigestion – trust your gut.
Don’t settle. I repeat – DO NOT SETTLE. Just, don’t. I know it can get lonely, I know it can get frustrating. Trust me – I KNOW. But for the love of everything holy – just do not settle. There were times I went out on a first date with a guy, and while it was all find and dandy…something just felt ~*off*~ Then I’d go on a second, or third – and that ~*off*~ feeling was still there, yet I’d pursue it in the hopes that something would change. Surprise surprise – it never did. Trust your instincts, that women’s intuition (or whatever the heck the male equivalent is)…when it’s just not right – walk away.
3. Don’t get swept up in the numbers game.
I have so many friends coming to me and asking for my advice when it comes to online dating. They’re out there, playing the field – but are having no luck when it comes to a) finding quality matches, and b) securing dates. Seeing as I have been on my fair share of dates over the past year, I know that things can become repetitive, boring even. Whether it’s in the conversations leading up to your date, or even on your first date – it often feels as though you’re on a never-ending interview, answering the same general questions.
Where are you from? How was your weekend? Etc., etc.
BORING…and for the most part, not relevant. Chances are in your online dating profile – you answer many of these mundane questions. If you’re looking for love through online dating – it’s time to start digging a little deeper and getting to the good stuff. You need to see if your personalities mesh well, and you can do this by asking great questions and learning more about each other on your first date. By the end of your first date you want to see if you connect with this person, whether you share similar values, and figure out if this is something you want to see flourish. By asking the right questions, you can determine if this is someone you want to learn even more about.
When we were kids, all we wanted to do was play games. Hopscotch, tag, duck-duck goose – whatever the game was, we were down to play it. Now that we are older, we’re faced with a different type of game – the dating game. Subsequently, within this game there are even more games.
So, that begs the question – when did things get so complicated? I mean, isn’t dating is supposed to be fun? Isn’t it supposed to be exciting? When did the game(s) get so difficult to maneuver and less fun to play? These games, the waiting 3 days to return a text even though we are all within arms reach of our phones at all times; the keeping your options open, just in case; the pretending to be someone you’re not simply out of fear of ending up alone – they’re so silly.
I say throw caution to the wind and enjoy the ride. If you like someone – tell them. If you don’t – tell them that too. Don’t pull a ghosting act and just disappear – show some respect (and be a decent human being) and just be honest. Backstreet Boys said it best, “Quit Playing Games With My Heart” lolz.
Speaking of the games – what happened to the days where when you met someone new and things were just effortless? Your conversations flow, and they literally only end because sleep must come at some point. Building that connection where you hang off of every word they say, when you want to know every little thing about them?
But really, shouldn’t that be how it actually goes?
When something like that comes into your life, it can catch you off guard. (Trust me – I know) It’s a new, weird, odd feeling. We’ve grown so accustomed to the games that when we meet someone who isn’t playing them – we’re left wondering why? How did this happen?
Maybe the way we should go about it is by not questioning why, or how. But instead we should be embracing it. Sometimes you find exactly what you’ve been looking for, when you stop looking. You have to take a step back and put your faith into the universe. Have faith that when the timing is right, things will align.
Maybe when that new person comes into your life, leaving the games at the door – that new, weird, odd feeling is actually what you should have been feeling all along. It just feels right, effortless. As opposed to the constant stress and worry, you’re now in a state of excitement and eagerness to see this new thing through. When you see their name pop up on your phone screen your heart flutters because it makes you feel so amazing that for even jus that moment in time – you crossed their mind.
Put your faith in the universe and let her do it’s thing. Trust me, because when timing and chemistry align, beautiful things can happen.
The other night I found myself staring up at the ceiling as I laid in bed, fighting another battle with insomnia. I was following the cracks and lines along the ceiling that come from the wear and tear over the years, and I couldn’t help but compare it to the wear and tear we go through ourselves in life. Like everyone else – I have been hurt. I’ve hit what I thought was rock bottom, been so hurt I thought I would never be able to trust or love, again. My heart has been broken…more than once. Those little pieces have had to be put back together over and over. But, the damage is done, the cracks are there – and the walls I’ve built after each heart break have to be rebuilt over and over – seemingly getting taller with each rebuild.
Maybe those cracks from being broken – are the things that actually hold you together afterwards. You’re actually stronger because of them; you’re stronger because you know that even though you’ve been hurt – you survived and got through it. And that love you experience after being hurt? Well, that love is one like no other. Because you have been hurt – you have to let your guard down and actually allow someone new in.
They slide through the cracks.
I’ve gotten to a point in life where I know what I want, and what I need from a romantic partner. For so long I settled, believing I didn’t deserve anything better than what I had…and let’s be honest – what I had for the majority of my 20s was an unhealthy relationship. It took me leaving that relationship, then being in another where my new man was nothing but supportive, my biggest cheerleader – and then being single for just over a year now, for me to figure out exactly what I want.
I’ve spent the past year dating aimlessly, falling for the ones who play games – and pushing away the “good” guys. #TypicalJJ It’s taken this time, these games even, for me to sort through what’s what and figure out exactly what it is I want.
I’ve heard the stories, we all have. The friends of a friend of a friend who met through XYZ dating app and it was love at first sight – instantly they knew. They deleted their apps right then and there on their very first date and have been living happily ever after since. As a hopeless romantic, I have stayed optimistic that this could actually happen in real life, but as I have continued to date over the past year, and meet some…let’s just say ~*interesting*~ fellas, I began to become a bit skeptical.
Could that really happen or is it just one of those relationship fairy tales us hopeless romantics tell ourselves to keep us optimistic?
Nothing says, ‘I love you,’ like a cheesy Valentine’s Day card! – right? Or maybe you’re having a hard time finding the right card for your Valentine. Look no further!
Modern dating isn’t always easy, trust me – I know. So here are a couple of my favourite cheesy and totally truthful Valentine’s Day cards.