That Time I Finally Felt Human Again So I Went To #RockYourRide At CycleBar Leaside

OMG – you guys, I can’t believe how sick I have been over the past couple of weeks. It has been BRUTAL. My head pounded, my body ached, I blew my nose so much that it became tender to the touch…which was unpleasant every time I had to sneeze…which was often.

Everything just *~HuRt~* Le sigh.

The worst part? My fave guy had been sick too. So, it’s been about a month of taking turns making soup and restocking the Emergen-C and Buckley’s. LOL But, thankfully, we’re both FINALLY feeling better and are getting some energy back!

This energy came in handy last week when I dragged myself to my very first ever spin class at CycleBar Leaside.

I headed out to Leaside to the brand-spanking new CycleBar for their media preview night. This is the first and only CycleBar studio in Canada, however they’re looking to expand over the next year.

CycleBar Leaside

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A Letter To Myself | Dear 13 Year Old Jenn Jenn

jenn jenn and the city
Dear 13 year old Jenn Jenn,
 I know life is very hard right now…and to be honest, it’s not going to get any easier any time soon…but I need you to have faith.
I need you to have faith in yourself. Believe in yourself, just a little more each day.
Your struggle, your story – all of it is shaping you to become who you were meant to be. So, stop being so hard on yourself.
Learn to forgive those that have hurt you so badly…trust in the forgiveness process…it’s healing.
You need to learn to love yourself. You need to love yourself before you can open your heart.
You deserve happiness and it’ll come, I promise.
One day you’ll wake up and be happy, really, truly, genuinely happy. You’ll have love in your life and you’ll finally believe you deserve it.
And when that day comes, you’ll look back on the struggles and realize – everything as happening for a reason; leading you to where you were meant to be.
I love you,
Jenn Jenn

Words I Write | Depression Sucks But I Do Deserve Happiness

The last couple of weeks have been a little rough. I’ve opened up on Twitter and Facebook about my struggle, and how the overwhelming wrath that is depression has slowly been taking over.

Real life isn’t always the silly selfies you see online. Real life can be hard; real life can be exhausting. Social media offers only a glimpse into our lives. We choose what we want to share, and what we don’t. Personally – I am trying to be more open, sharing the good and the bad. What you don’t always see though, are the days that I cannot leave my bed; the days where my depression tightens… the hold it has on me and I feel so utterly alone and stuck. What you don’t see are the days where I have full-blown panic attacks; where it feels as though the walls are closing in on me and I can’t breathe, nor see through the overflowing tears. What you don’t see are the times where my anxiety is so crippling that I’m left questioning myself, my worth, my everything – all because that little voice in my head is telling me over and over how unworthy and useless I am. What I do want you to see though is that even through all of this – happiness is possible, you just have to choose to fight for it…to fight for yourself. It gets better. #BellLetsTalk

A post shared by Jenn and the City (@thejennandthecity) on

If anyone has ever battled depression, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s that constant feeling of unworthiness, of helplessness. When asked by those around me why I was feeling so down, all I could do was bleakly answer, “I don’t know.”

I was scared. Honestly – I was terrified. I felt myself slipping into a dark place, one that I hadn’t been in for almost four years.

February 17, 2013 – the day of my suicide attempt

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Valentine’s Day Date Ideas Whether You’re Coupled Up Or Flying Solo

Valentine’s Day Date Ideas Whether You’re Coupled Up Or Flying Solo

I love love. This is no secret. I’m a massive hopeless romantic, so it should come as no surprise that I adore Valentine’s Day. Duh – I love all thing romantic and mushy and gushy. I’m practically the cartoons you see where they have hearts as eyes and are almost always blushing.

…yeah, that’s basically me.

That being said, whether you are coupled up, or flying solo – Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be stressful…or boring! Sure, you could do the same ol’ thang year in and year out – make a reservation at a fancy schmancy restaurant…but, where’s the fun in that?

I’ve put together a short list of fun things you can do this Valentine’s Day – either your boothang, your friends, or heck – even just on your own.

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PayPal and Siri Saving Friendships One I.O.U. At A Time

PayPal Siri integration now available!

Starting November 10th , for the first time in Canada, iPhone users can tell Siri to send or request money through an integration with the PayPal app.

So here’s the thing. I don’t often have very much downtime. I’m usually on the go-go-go, whether it’s heading to work, or an event, off on another travel adventure – whatever the case may be. Very rarely do I get a chance to hang out with friends and just ~*chill*~.

But, when my friend Casie and I’s schedules FINALLY aligned for a little gab sesh, I jumped at the chance (even though I had landed from NYC that morning and had been on MAX 9 hours sleep over the previous 3 days combined, lolz).

I met up with Casie on the adorable back patio of Bar Reyna for some nibbles and cocktails and a long overdue catch-up. Between chatting about our lives pre-blogging days, to current crushes (mine new, hers her amazing BF of 10+ years who she still has a crush on to this day, #cute), to the US election (…ugh) – time was just flying by on the patio.

When we were ready to leave, Casie just picked up the tab as opposed to us splitting it. We were in a rush to head out to watch the Election Night coverage! I assured her I’d pay her back for my portion, obvs.

But come the next day – I was just a ball of mush. LOL

I was exhausted and drained and struggling to put together sentences. I mentally checked out and went to bed at like, 7pm. After a MUCH needed night of rest – I remembered that I owed Casie a couple of bucks for our patio night. Oops!

I don’t know about you, but I ALWAYS feel awkward asking friends for money that is owed to me. I also feel incredibly awkward when I owe a friend money.

I know I’m not alone in this, because according to a PayPal Money Habits Study* conducted by Koski Tesearch in 2015 – on average, 30% of Canadians have actually lost a friendship over an I.O.U.

30% of friendships ended because of money owed. Welp.

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What I Devour | Horror Movies With Ravenswood Besieged

I have to be honest with you guys. I have never really been a fan of Halloween. I mean, sure – as a kid I loved getting dressed up and going trick or treating. I mean, it’s the one time a year that it’s ok to take candy from a stranger – what kid wouldn’t love that?! But as an adult – Halloween and I have never really jived.

In my 20s I was bartending and doing bottle service in nightclubs and the Halloween parties were always the worst. It’d be SO busy and people would drink WAY too much…and then throw in the fact that everyone was in costume? That’s all just a recipe for a messy night.

Now that I’m older, and I’d like to believe at least a wee bit wiser, my ideal way to celebrate Halloween is to put on a scary movie and curl up with a cutie. I mean – I’m not about to watch them on my own! C’mon! I’m way too much of a scaredy-cat. LOLHorror Movies This Halloween With Ravenswood Besieged

If you’re like me and planning on staying in and binge watching horror movies, here are some of my suggestions:

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CONTEST | Enter To WIN A Pair Of Tickets To The Everything To Do With Sex Show

Enter To WIN A Pair Of Tickets To 17th Annual The Everything To Do With Sex Show In Toronto

Everything To Do With Sex Show

Are you looking for something fun, flirty, and sexy to do this weekend?

The Everything To Do With Sex Show is coming back to Toronto for its 17th year and I’m giving away a pair of tickets!

Why should you attend The Everything To Do With Sex Show, you ask?

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What I Devour | The Meal To End All Meals At The Citizen

Have you ever had one of those meals that was just so amazing that you couldn’t stop thinking about it, even weeks later? Like – you would find yourself day dreaming about that delish plate of pasta you devoured…or that succulent steak that was cooked so perfectly that it just melted in your mouth?

The Citizen Toronto

I have, and recently, might I add. A couple of weeks ago I was invited out to The Citizen for a hosted dinner. I was able to briefly stop by the media launch of the new menu for The Citizen a month or two ago, but I didn’t get a chance to try any of the food. (I triple booked myself on events that night and by the time I got there…it was too late. #FailJJ) I did chat with other bloggers who had a chance to try the dishes – and everyone was raving about every.single.thing. So when the team invited me out for dinner, needless to say – I was more than happy to go out!

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#WorldMentalHealthDay | It Gets Better, I Swear – It Does Get Better

These posts are never easy to write. Scratch that, they’re never easy to start writing…but, once I get started – it’s as if I literally cannot stop the words from coming out. So…if it sounds like I’m rambling a little bit it’s because I likely am and am not even going to edit this before I post it because then I may chicken out and not hit publish…

I can’t tell you how many times I have started a post of this nature, gotten a couple of lines in and the overwhelming feeling of failure/embarrassment/whatever takes over and I cannot continue.

*At this moment I have exactly 374 posts in my draft folder…that’s not including what I’ve written in my notepad on my phone, or the notebooks strewn and hidden all around my apartment…each of those are in double digits…

Most people don’t even realize that mental health is something I have been battling forever. They see the ‘happy-go-lucky’ gal they know online, and don’t realize there is so much more to it…to me.

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Words I Write | Sometimes It’s Ok To Be Selfish

jenn and the city

Real life isn’t always the silly selfies you see online. Real life can be hard; real life can be exhausting.

There will be those days where you feel down and out; those days where you feel frustrated and angry.

Those days where you will just want (and maybe even need) to just shut out from everyone and everything…and that’s ok.

There is no harm or shame in taking a little time to yourself.

It’s a healthy thing to do – disconnect and just ~*LiVe*~ your life.

It’s become so easy to get preoccupied and swept up into this whole thing, this “online life” we live…but, take that step back every now and then.

After the rain, the sun will reappear. There is life. After the pain, the joy will still be here.

Recharge and refocus your energy.

But always remember that no matter how bad it seems, it will get better.

…ok, love you – bye.