These posts are never easy to write. Scratch that, they’re never easy to start writing…but, once I get started – it’s as if I literally cannot stop the words from coming out. So…if it sounds like I’m rambling a little bit it’s because I likely am and am not even going to edit this before I post it because then I may chicken out and not hit publish…
I can’t tell you how many times I have started a post of this nature, gotten a couple of lines in and the overwhelming feeling of failure/embarrassment/whatever takes over and I cannot continue.
*At this moment I have exactly 374 posts in my draft folder…that’s not including what I’ve written in my notepad on my phone, or the notebooks strewn and hidden all around my apartment…each of those are in double digits…
Most people don’t even realize that mental health is something I have been battling forever. They see the ‘happy-go-lucky’ gal they know online, and don’t realize there is so much more to it…to me.
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Real life isn’t always the silly selfies you see online. Real life can be hard; real life can be exhausting.
There will be those days where you feel down and out; those days where you feel frustrated and angry.
Those days where you will just want (and maybe even need) to just shut out from everyone and everything…and that’s ok.
There is no harm or shame in taking a little time to yourself.
It’s a healthy thing to do – disconnect and just ~*LiVe*~ your life.
It’s become so easy to get preoccupied and swept up into this whole thing, this “online life” we live…but, take that step back every now and then.
After the rain, the sun will reappear. There is life. After the pain, the joy will still be here.
Recharge and refocus your energy.
But always remember that no matter how bad it seems, it will get better.
…ok, love you – bye.
I see people around me, with so much more responsibility – spouses, kids, multiple jobs, mortgage payments, hiding their receding hairlines, dealing with that one lone nose hair that refuses to give up, (it’s like – go away Hairy Larry* – no one likes you!) and I wonder to myself, “How the heck do they do it?!”
Then I’m left feeling like complete dirt about myself, more so than normal, because these functioning adults are kicking butt at adulting and doing all the adulting they can…and I’m sitting here having wine and ordering pizza for dinner…again.
I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with wine and pizza.
They’re two of my most favourite things in the whole entire world…but I mean, put a vegetable in your body once in a while, Jenn. Sheesh.
So as I stuff my face with another slice, slurping down wine in between bites – I had to wonder to myself…
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Have you ever had a moment where you looked at a picture of yourself, and just didn’t recognize what you saw in front of you? That happened to me the other day. This past weekend, I had to get some filming done for a video submission that was due this week – so my friend Jen graciously offered to come downtown and help me out. So we spent all day and night Sunday filming different clips, and then later that night I pieced them together to create my submission. As I laid in bed, at almost midnight, I re-watched the video again and again. I was just so uncomfortable with what I saw, how I looked.
Not for nothing, I pulled a muscle in my arm earlier that week and was comatose for the majority of the weekend until I was finally able to move again on Sunday without crying out in pain…so that MAY have had something to do with how exhausted I looked, but nonetheless…
If you’ve been following me on social media, or even here on the blog, you’ll know that over the past few months there have been some changes in my personal life. On top of that, what you wouldn’t know, is that there has been a lot more going on as well, professionally and personally.
Basically – I’ve hit a rut.
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Dear 16 year old Jenn Jenn,
I’m writing you to let you know that no matter how hard life seems right now – it will get better. I know you are frustrated, and that you feel alone. You feel uncomfortable in your own skin and unsure of what the future holds…but believe me when I say it’ll all be worth it.
Those kids making fun of you for being so skinny and not wearing make-up, ignore them. Because soon enough you will grow into a beautiful, independent woman who will be so strong-willed that you won’t take that kind of crap from anyone anymore. You will know your worth, finally – and you won’t settle for anything less than you deserve.
Keep writing. Write down every thought and feeling that comes your way. Carry around a notepad because you will never know when inspiration will strike. It could be a sudden warm breeze that you feel through your hair on a summer evening that’ll inspire you to write about how free you feel, or it could be those late nights you spend lying in bed wide awake, mind racing, when you’ll be motivated to share your deepest secrets. These inspirational moments can strike at any time and you want to be prepared because that’s when the good stuff comes – when you least expect it.
Stay true to who you are. Don’t change your beliefs and your morals just to fit in. It’s ok to be different, it’s better that way. You see things, the world, in a different perspective. Keep that optimism and faith in humanity, because lord knows we need more of that.
When it comes to dating and relationships – slow down. Slow down, and before you even begin to think about allowing someone else to love you – love yourself.
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Oh, hi guys! It’s been a minute since I checked in with y’all.
How you dooooin?
Life has been a bit hectic on my end and I’ve been left feeling like I am constantly playing catch-up. Couple that with my anxiety and it’s a recipe for trouble. #welp
But I’m here, and I’m happier than I have been in a long time – and I feel like I’m getting back to myself…and my old ways. 😉
So much has been going on, both in the #bloggerlife and personal aspects of my life. Truthfully – I kind of just needed a little time to pull myself back from being online as much and spend that time and energy elsewhere. Be it through my early morning solo runs that I consider my therapy, or spending some time with friends (both new and old alike) and family – I just needed some ME time.
But – don’t you fret. I’m back, babes!
I have some GREAT stuff I’m going to be sharing with you over the next little while. I’m going to give you a behind-the-scenes look at some of the events I’ve gotten to attend lately, and I have some killer recipes (both food and cocktail, because why the heck not) that I’m going to be sharing. I’ve partnered with some awesome brands and can’t wait to share all of that with you.
I’m still continuing on my fitness journey and want to share that with you guys as well. I’ve had my ups and downs, some minor setbacks – but that’s life. Life happens and you have to find a way to power through and just do you. You know what I mean? There are no more excuses to be made. It’s all about living your happiest and healthiest life, however works for you.
And, of course, I’ll be writing more personal posts about life and love and everything in between. Sharing my stories has been therapeutic for me, and to top it off – getting such overwhelming responses from you guys through Twitter or Facebook messages and emails makes my heart so happy!
Now I’m off to enjoy the long weekend and I hope you are too!
Sending all the positive vibes and sunshine your way.
After a break-up, nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.
I’m the type of person who goes all-in. I give my all, my whole heart – loving unconditionally and fully. Jumping in without worry of consequences. Then, when things don’t work out as I had hoped – I’m left questioning myself, my worth – wondering what it was that I could have done differently. What is it that either of us could have done differently? But, it’s just not that simple. It’s never just that one thing that could have changed.
Sometimes, no matter how badly you want something to work out – it just isn’t right.
Life happens. Things happen – and you may not ever know exactly where things went wrong – but the fact of the matter is that they did, and you have to move on.
So then what do you do? I mean, besides spend a weekend surrounded by friends and family, and lots of wine – of course.
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So often, single friends and acquaintances have come to me and asked me,
“Why can’t I find someone?!” or, “Why am I still single?!”
My first piece of advice is to cut out those “sort-of” relationships in your life.
By allowing those “sort-of” relationships to hold a place in your mind and in your heart – you are blocking out a space that could be otherwise occupied by something more worthwhile, more deserving.
It can be scary being utterly and completely alone. Trust me, I know this.
So you hold onto those “sort-of” relationships, thinking it’s better than nothing.
But believe me – it’s not.
Let go of the past, the what-if’s, and the sort-of‘s which are all poor excuses for relationships – and make room in your heart for the real deal…then you’ll be truly ready and it’ll come.
UPDATE: I’m back on the market. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past month or so, you’ll know that your girl JennJenn over here is officially off the market. Yup, that’s right – I’m a spoken for gal now.
That being said – I know that over the past year you guys have thoroughly enjoyed reading about my torturous first dates, but don’t fret – I think I’ve found a great solution. I’m going to share with you some tips that I’ve learned from a year of first (and second, third, and sometimes even more) dates.
Dating doesn’t have to be difficult.
You’ve already laughed at my suffering, why not learn some tips from it too? LOL
1. Math is hard, but chemistry is even harder.
Chemistry is one of those things you either have, or you don’t. While you’re swiping left and right on your preferred online dating app, you may come across a picture or profile that catches your eye. You may even exchange some witty banter and clever conversation back and forth – but if and when you meet, and that chemistry isn’t there, know that it’s is something you can’t force or manipulate. Sure, it may not happen right off the bat on the first date (nerves and all) – but, know when to hold them and know when to chuck them the deuces. There is no point in wasting your time on something that just isn’t right.
2. It’s not always indigestion – trust your gut.
Don’t settle. I repeat – DO NOT SETTLE. Just, don’t. I know it can get lonely, I know it can get frustrating. Trust me – I KNOW. But for the love of everything holy – just do not settle. There were times I went out on a first date with a guy, and while it was all find and dandy…something just felt ~*off*~ Then I’d go on a second, or third – and that ~*off*~ feeling was still there, yet I’d pursue it in the hopes that something would change. Surprise surprise – it never did. Trust your instincts, that women’s intuition (or whatever the heck the male equivalent is)…when it’s just not right – walk away.
3. Don’t get swept up in the numbers game.
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