Chapter 11 of 12.
(I know, I know – I’m a day late – whatevs.)
A couple weeks ago I was speaking with my sister and I mentioned in passing that I was thinking of doing a “Sober November.”
Her immediate response was,
“Can you even last a month?”
Umm – ouch.
I then mentioned it to The Boy a few days later and he said,
“Well how the heck are you going to do THAT?”
I also mentioned it to a couple of friends, who while being supportive of the idea – were still sceptical that I could actually do it.
“Well…this is probably no good,”
I thought to myself.
I’m competitive by nature, and quite stubborn…in an adorable (adorkable, even) way.
So – with all these people questioning me and my ability to survive a “Sober November” – I came to the conclusion that this idea of mine was one I just had to go through with – if only to spite them all.
You will often come across people, or groups of people, challenging themselves to a “sober month.”
Usually this is done after the holidays, at the beginning of the year – as a sort of detox, if you will.
I’ve seen and followed along with others as they’ve done their “sober months,” but I have never personally participated.
So – the more thought I put into this “Sober November” idea I had – the more encouraged, while still reluctant, I became.
Over the past couple of weeks I started paying more attention to what I was putting in my body.
Between the after-work glass or two of wine, to the cocktails at parties, beer at sporting events, oh so many tequila shots on my birthday…I noticed that I was partaking in likely far too many adult beverages.
When I was 19, I began working in nightclubs.
I was a waitress and bartender – and having cocktails at work was a nightly occurence.
Then – on the one night off a week that I had – we’d all go out to a club to let off some steam…all while having more cocktails.
It became the norm.
There was no, “Hey = let’s grab a coffee,” among my friends and I.
It was always catching up over drink.
My fitness and health took a huge hit.
As we get older – our metabolism just doesn’t work the same.
No matter how much I work out (which has also been slacking lately) – putting all these drinks (empty calories!) in my body can’t be good.
So, this “Sober November” was a slowly becoming more of a welcome idea.
I knew I needed to make some sort of drastic change to sort of kick-start myself in the right direction.
Let’s face it – sure, we can have a few cocktails, but then what happens?
It’s late at night and we’re hungry, and as we’re coming home from whatever social commitment we had that evening – our choices are limited.
And…well…more often than not – I’d be craving pizza after a few drinks.
It’s a vicious circle that needed to be broken.
Cocktails lead to more cocktails which lead to poor late-night food choices which lead to a crappy sleep which lead to a cranky Jenn Jenn in the morning which lead to a Jenn Jenn who didn’t have the motivation to exercise which lead to a hungover Jenn Jenn who was craving more greasy food to subside the hangover…
Vicious circle, I tell you!
I needed to make a drastic change to kick-start myself in the right direction, for my health both mentally and physically.
As someone who has been battling severe depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember – I know that what I put into my body affects my mental state.
I know that lack of exercise and poor diet can be one of the many triggers to push me back into a bad place.
I needed to make a change, and thankfully – I am in a healthy enough mental state to realize this before it was too late.
I’m not going to lie. I know this won’t be easy.
‘Tis the season for holiday parties and get-togethers, and when I actually told a friend of mine (who I have a wings and beer night planned with later this month) about my plan this morning – he said, and I quote,
“Balance Jenn. Stay sober the other 29 days in November – and drink with your friends one night.”
Though I know he was being semi-sarcastic, I felt a ping of guilt.
Maybe not guilt, but I started questioning myself – can I actually go through with this?
I know what some of you may be thinking:
“Jenn – it’s a month. Relax.”
As I said – I do not think this is going to be easy.
I very much enjoy my after-work wine, as a way of decompressing and relaxing after a long day!
I’m going to write a daily journal every night, detailing everything from the changes in my appetite and sleep, cravings and energy levels, even how different it will be to socialize with everyone.
I’m not going to change anything in my social life.
Date nights with still happen with The Boy.
Events will still be attended.
Sporting games will still have me in the stands. #GoSports
The only thing that’ll be different is that I won’t have a cocktail in my hand.
I’ll post weekly recaps, with each day’s journal, for you all to follow along.
Feel free to laugh at my misery and struggles – and maybe, if you were thinking of making a change like this in your own life – this will help push you in the right direction.