UPDATE: I’m back on the market. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In case you’ve been living under a rock for the past month or so, you’ll know that your girl JennJenn over here is officially off the market. Yup, that’s right – I’m a spoken for gal now.
That being said – I know that over the past year you guys have thoroughly enjoyed reading about my torturous first dates, but don’t fret – I think I’ve found a great solution. I’m going to share with you some tips that I’ve learned from a year of first (and second, third, and sometimes even more) dates.
Dating doesn’t have to be difficult.
You’ve already laughed at my suffering, why not learn some tips from it too? LOL
1. Math is hard, but chemistry is even harder.
Chemistry is one of those things you either have, or you don’t. While you’re swiping left and right on your preferred online dating app, you may come across a picture or profile that catches your eye. You may even exchange some witty banter and clever conversation back and forth – but if and when you meet, and that chemistry isn’t there, know that it’s is something you can’t force or manipulate. Sure, it may not happen right off the bat on the first date (nerves and all) – but, know when to hold them and know when to chuck them the deuces. There is no point in wasting your time on something that just isn’t right.
2. It’s not always indigestion – trust your gut.
Don’t settle. I repeat – DO NOT SETTLE. Just, don’t. I know it can get lonely, I know it can get frustrating. Trust me – I KNOW. But for the love of everything holy – just do not settle. There were times I went out on a first date with a guy, and while it was all find and dandy…something just felt ~*off*~ Then I’d go on a second, or third – and that ~*off*~ feeling was still there, yet I’d pursue it in the hopes that something would change. Surprise surprise – it never did. Trust your instincts, that women’s intuition (or whatever the heck the male equivalent is)…when it’s just not right – walk away.
3. Don’t get swept up in the numbers game.
Ok, I’ll admit it – it can be a great ego boost to swipe until your heart’s content when you’re feeling down in the dumps – those “It’s A Match!” messages popping up. But remember why you’re swiping in the first place. If in fact you are swiping simply for that rush – you do you. If not, be a bit more selective.
Same goes for having multiple conversations at once. True story – one night when I first got into the whole dating scene, I was chatting with six different guys at once. Literally. I was at home, having six different conversations at once. Believe me – this is not a brag, in any way. It was so overwhelming and I made a fool of myself by not only calling one of them by the wrong name, but answering a question from one chat window in another chat window. Yeah – it was then that I realized I needed to slow my role. Rookie mistake. KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid.
4. No matter what it is you’re looking for – be honest.
If you are looking to just hookup, cool. No judgement whatsoever – you do you, booboo. But just be straight up about it. Trust me when I say this – there are other people out there looking for exactly that. You do not need to mislead someone into thinking you want more when in reality, you do not. Don’t be a douche.
Same goes for if you’re actually looking for something more. Don’t waiver on your standards simply because a pretty face came along. Stick to your guns, and when the timing is right – you’ll find the perfect person for you.
5. Put your phone down and take a break.
Are you sitting down? I have something very important to say. Ok, you ready? Take a deep breath. Here goes…it’s ok to take a break from dating. Shocker, I know. But the dating apps and world full of single people will be there when you get back. It can get overwhelming, not just going on countless dates – but even just having conversations with multiple people. Or even on the flip side – maybe you’re going through a drought and not coming across any worthwhile profiles. Dud after dud after dud – that can be incredibly frustrating and will happen to the best of us.
Take a breather. Put away the apps and whatnot, and spend some time doing things you enjoy. Who knows, maybe you’ll actually meet someone while out doing your thing – and boom, you’ll already have a shared interest. Win-win.
6. Last but not least – put your faith in the universe.
Ok, I know this is something I’ve touched on here on le blogaroo a few times already, but – it’s just something I believe in oh-so-much. Finding the right relationship isn’t just about the chemistry you have with someone, it’s also about the timing. The chemistry and timing have to align, and when they do – it will be spectacular. You can’t have a “sort-of” relationship with someone and expect to find your Mr./Ms. right. If a real relationship is what you’re looking for, work on yourself and fall in love with yourself first. When you’re truly ready, the universe will work her magic.