I’ve gotten to a point in life where I know what I want, and what I need from a romantic partner. For so long I settled, believing I didn’t deserve anything better than what I had…and let’s be honest – what I had for the majority of my 20s was an unhealthy relationship. It took me leaving that relationship, then being in another where my new man was nothing but supportive, my biggest cheerleader – and then being single for just over a year now, for me to figure out exactly what I want.
I’ve spent the past year dating aimlessly, falling for the ones who play games – and pushing away the “good” guys. #TypicalJJ It’s taken this time, these games even, for me to sort through what’s what and figure out exactly what it is I want.
I’ve heard the stories, we all have. The friends of a friend of a friend who met through XYZ dating app and it was love at first sight – instantly they knew. They deleted their apps right then and there on their very first date and have been living happily ever after since. As a hopeless romantic, I have stayed optimistic that this could actually happen in real life, but as I have continued to date over the past year, and meet some…let’s just say ~*interesting*~ fellas, I began to become a bit skeptical.
Could that really happen or is it just one of those relationship fairy tales us hopeless romantics tell ourselves to keep us optimistic?
I really didn’t know what to expect when I got on the dating scene last year. As someone who has steadily been in relationships throughout my entire adult life – my only glimpse into the dating world would be through friends or Sex and the City…and surely those were exaggerations, right?
The games that are played, the time that is wasted. The, ‘let’s wait four days to respond to a message even though we live in a world where our phones are never more than an arms reach away’ game. The, ‘let’s put that I’m looking for a relationship in my dating profile just so that others don’t think I’m only looking to hookup, even though that’s all I really want’ game. Womp.
Not everyone online is playing said games though. I’ve received messages on good ol’ Tinder or whatnot that were blunt, straightforward, and to the point. We are adults. We know what we want, we know what we like. If all you are looking for is a hookup, believe you me – there is someone out there looking for the exact same thing. And you can find it, simply by being honest.
I think, what it comes down to now is timing. Timing and chemistry. If you can get those two bad boys to line up – you’re in for a treat.
Perhaps the timing was off over this past year for me? For when those so-called “good guys” came into my life, perhaps I just wasn’t ready? The chemistry was there…but the timing was off? Now that I’m ready, the timing is right and I’ve actually ended communication with other guys because that chemistry wasn’t there. Remove the negative to make room for the positive.
Blah. Blah. Blah. Math is hard.
I’ve kissed my fair share of frogs on my journey to find my prince, and while he may not be in my life yet (or maybe he is…we’ll see) – one thing is for sure – done are the days where games will be played.