Real life isn’t always the silly selfies you see online. Real life can be hard; real life can be exhausting. Social media offers only a glimpse into our lives. We choose what we want to share, and what we don’t. Personally – I am trying to be more open, sharing the good and the bad. What you don’t always see though, are the days that I cannot leave my bed; the days where my depression tightens… the hold it has on me and I feel so utterly alone and stuck. What you don’t see are the days where I have full-blown panic attacks; where it feels as though the walls are closing in on me and I can’t breathe, nor see through the overflowing tears. What you don’t see are the times where my anxiety is so crippling that I’m left questioning myself, my worth, my everything – all because that little voice in my head is telling me over and over how unworthy and useless I am. What I do want you to see though is that even through all of this – happiness is possible, you just have to choose to fight for it…to fight for yourself. It gets better. #BellLetsTalk
If anyone has ever battled depression, you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s that constant feeling of unworthiness, of helplessness. When asked by those around me why I was feeling so down, all I could do was bleakly answer, “I don’t know.”
I was scared. Honestly – I was terrified. I felt myself slipping into a dark place, one that I hadn’t been in for almost four years.