You know what someone with severe anxiety shouldn’t do? Be left alone with their thoughts for days, stuck in bed…on pain meds.
My mind has not stopped racing. I’ve thought about everything from that time I got sent to the principals office when I was in grade 3, and instead took it upon myself to give my imaginary friend (George) a tour of our school; to whether major life decisions…like if I should grow out my bangs.
What’s even worse is that because of the amount of pain I’m in, combined with the T3s – I can only get max 2 hours of sleep in a row. What the?! Isn’t the codeine supposed to knock me right out? Did I get a dud bottles of happy pills? #unblessed
Not sure just how much duds they are though. While they may not be helping with the pain, they sure are providing me with some hilarious entertainment in the form of incredibly vivid dream in my short bursts of sleep. Nothing like waking up drenched in sweat, in excruciating pain, but with a smile on your face because you were in a field playing a ukulele in your dream, right?
You never really realize just how much your ear affects so many different aspects in your life. Need to blow your nose? You won’t be able to whilst healing from surgery to fix your perforated eardrum. Think you can walk a straight line? Nope…your balance will be rocked. No pun intended.
…I’ve actually fallen over four times in the past 24 hours.
I think I’ve reached peak crisis mode at la casa de JJ tonight. I have no more apple juice, no more ginger ale, no food (not that I have an appetite)…
S. O. S.
It’s difficult because I’m stubborn. I know I am. It runs in my family. 😉 I’ve had a couple friends offer to bring me whatever I may need, but much like when suffering a bout of depression – I’d really rather just be alone. I feel disgusting and just ~blah~ so I’d rather suffer in silence than invite anyone over.
And by suffer in silence I mean tweet up a storm, and apparently – post some rants and rambles here in between my wild dreams.
So what does one do when they can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t drink, can’t ~anythjng~¿?