Today is one of the good days. I feel good. I feel happy. I have a stupid grin on my face that I can’t seem to get rid of. I know why it’s there…but that’s a story I’m not ready to share…yet.
…gonna wait this one out a bit. 😉
While today may be one of the good ones, I know the possibility of a bad one coming soon is there. I have become more open about my struggle with mental illness. I’ve shared parts of my story, and in time will be sharing more. I have so many posts already written, and even more in the works…but it takes a whole lot of courage to hit publish.
Since I have started sharing more, people have sent me countless emails and messages – all of which have been encouraging. These messages range from empathy for my battles, to people sharing their own mental illness stories with me, and some have even been from people who were appreciative of me sharing my story simply because they have never personally had to struggle with mental health issues, and as such – were never able to fully understand them.
By sharing my story I hope that I help even just one person see and realize that it’s a daily struggle. Unlike other illness, you cannot always physically see that someone is struggling.
Someone actually recently said to me that it doesn’t make sense that I suffer from depression and anxiety, because whenever they see me I am always laughing, and bubbly, and having a good time. I explained to them that sometimes this is a coping mechanism, and that you may not always see the “bad days.” You don’t see the days where I spend three days in bed – physically unable to get up.
The days where it is a struggle to convince myself to simply get up and shower, where I feel as though my body is physically restrained to my bed and I cannot get up, even if I wanted to.
So as on outsider, while you may see the “good” days, remember that the bad ones are still there…not just for me, but for anyone struggling.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
Thankfully the memory and thought of the good days, like today – help pull me through the bad ones and keeps me somewhat hopeful that days like today will in fact come back…eventually.
So if you’re having one of those bad days, keep your head up because a good one is right around the corner.