Love it or hate it, Sex and the City often provided some sound advice when it came to life and love. Over the past year and a bit, my year of singleness, (singledom?) – I found myself re-watching old episodes more than I care to admit. When I was having a rough day, sometimes the only thing that got me through it was the thought that at the end of the day I’d be curled up on my couch, with an open bottle of wine, watching as Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha attempted to maneuver their way through dating in New York. Every so often I’d mumble under my breath, “I am so a *insert SATC character name here*” as I grabbed another slice of pizza. It’s what the single ladies do, right?
No? Just me? Awks. Moving on.
There is one piece of advice that really hit home for me, though. It’s something I’ve heard so many times, but it never sunk in. Don’t you hate when that happens? You hear something, and you know it’s true. In fact – you know it’s so true that you share that advice with others…yet, you don’t follow it yourself. Ugh. Worst. Anyways, shortly into my year of singleness – I heard this advice again while stuffing my face with pizza and watching SATC, and it was as if it was JUST the wakeup call I needed.
“Even if it hurts, sometimes it’s better to be alone than fake it.”
You know that feeling when it feels as though you’ve been smacked in the face with a truth bomb? Yeah, that. It got me thinking about the times in life that I had just settled. Settled with a job I didn’t even like, just because I was scared to take a chance on something else. Settled for a relationship, just because I was scared to take a chance on myself.
I finally realized I needed to take some time for myself. I needed to take some time to work on some things, and fall in love with myself. I needed to love myself the way I expected someone else to love me, wholehearted and unconditionally. I realized that I needed to love myself before I could even think about the idea of someone else loving me.
And that’s exactly what I did. Sure, I went on a bunch of dates in the meantime, heck – I even dated someone for a whole month (!!), but I was always doing something to work on myself first and foremost. And then, after a while, I just put my faith into the universe. I put my faith in the universe and trusted that when the timing was right – the man I was supposed to be with would come into my life and I would be ready to accept the love I finally knew I deserved.
Life is a journey, a journey that molds and shapes you. This journey is exactly what we all needed in order to build ourselves into the best version of ourselves. So often we try to rush the journey, trying to find shortcuts in life. Feeling as though we’ve lost time. But in reality, each and every situation you’ve experienced has brought you to where you are meant to be.
It sounds so cliché, but I really believe it’s true – that everything happens for a reason. People are brought into your life (and subsequently, some actually leave your life) for a reason. These are the lessons you have to learn in order to bring yourself to exactly where you are meant to be. Don’t rush the journey; don’t settle. Have faith in yourself and let the universe work her magic.
“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.”
– Steve Jobs
When the timing is right, and you are ready – amazing things will happen.