Rants And Rambles | Why Does My Scalp Feel Like It’s On Fire?

Friend: “So, Jenn – what did you do last night?”

Me:

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In all actuality I spent way too much time googling “90s fashion,” “90s grunge fashion for girls,” and “How can I look cool while trying to hide my anxiety at a 90s themed event?” while I had at-home hair colour (hopefully) working its magic (covering my grey hairs).

Tonight, Mike and I are heading to #ExtraInnings: Smells Like Team Spirit in support of the Jays Care Foundation.

When you think of the 90s, what comes to mind? Let me know because who knows what fun things may come your way. 😎 For me, it’s the Backstreet Boys and the Spice Girls. It’s butterfly clips in my hair and secret notes in my Caboodle. It’s going to see Titanic in the theatre and having a different LipSmacker in every pocket. • Oh, and of course – the back-to-back world series championship wins for the Blue Jays! DUH! Do you remember Joe Carter running the bases and Tom Cheek saying, “Touch ’em all, Joe – you’ll never hit a bigger homerun in your life!” • On July 19th, I’ll be joining fellow young professionals for a night filled with nostalgia…oh, and the likes of Jose Cruz Jr., Fred McGriff, and Mr. Joe Carter himself at #ExtraInnings in support of the Jays Care Foundation. You can join us by clicking the link in my bio for tickets! #WithRogers #Rogers_Partner

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Join fellow young professionals and Blue Jays legends for a nostalgic 90s night out at Rogers Centre™. Party the night away as we transform the concourse into a 90s dance party for a throwback Thursday evening in support of Jays Care. Joe Carter, Fred McGriff, and Jose Cruz Jr. will all be on hand as we come together to celebrate everybody’s favourite decade.

…now do you understand the 90s Google searches?

Have you ever gotten trapped in a Google search web where you click on one thing, which leads you to another…then another…then another and then next thing you know, your scalp is feeling awfully warm and itchy and then you realize, oh crap – I forgot to set a time and this hair colour has been on for like, 30 minutes?

No? Just me. Oh, well – alrighty then. Carry on.

I remember when I first started out blogging. I was confident (or so I pretended) and eager to go to every event. I wanted to show face. I wanted to meet new people. I wanted to BE EVERYWHERE. Now, as the years have gone by – I find myself going out less and less. And the times I do RSVP “Yes” (and actually show up and not bail last minute), my anxiety goes wacko leading up to said event. The times have changed. There are so many new faces and I always feel a little out of place. I usually keep to myself, head down and in my phone…avoiding contact.

Mental illness is a son of a bitch, eh?

It’s a vicious circle. Your depression and anxiety (or whatever ails you) keeps you isolated, then you feel so utterly alone. You’re lonely. So, then when the dark cloud somewhat lifts and you get the kahoonahs to actually make plans – you either bail (ahem!) or isolate yourself once out. Then you go home, kicking yourself – beating yourself up for not putting yourself out there enough. All those negative thoughts – that self-destructive inner battle – pushes you back into a dark spot. And then you start the cycle all over again.

No? Just me. Oh, well – alrighty then. Carry on.

Anyways, that’s where I’m at now. But I have been writing more and plan on using the blogaroo here as my diary, of sorts. I want to share with you guys daily (or, at least a heck of a lot more than I have been). So, expect a lot more of these rando dando check-ins and rants and rambles. Oh, and stories. I have plenty of those from over the years and now’s as good a time as any to start sharing!

…and if something resonates – HMU in the comments.

Writing is therapeutic for me, and just for that brief moment when I hit publish, it feeds my ego and makes me feel like someone may actually read this and be like, “Huh – so I’m NOT alone in feeling like this.” Which, in the end – is really all I want.

…until next time lovelies! xx

Side note: #ExtraInnings: Smells Like Team Spirit tickets are still available, so if you’re interested in joining and supporting an awesome cause – click here.

2 comments

  1. Alayne says:

    You’re not alone. Anxiety and Depression are a SOB!! Keep positive people around you, the rest can f*** off. Sorry for the language but peeps who don’t have it, don’t get it! 🙂

    • Jennifer says:

      Haha – no apologies needed! I always tried to keep cursing off of my social media and blog, but the fact of the matter is mental illness is a son of a bitch and that’s that. Thanks for reading!

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